THE RIGHTS & DUTIES OF THE HUSBAND TOWARDS HIS WIFE IN ISLAM

Just as Almighty Allah has made some duties of the wife towards the husband, he has also made some duties of the husband towards his wife. To fulfill these duties is an obligation and means of great blessing.

Almighty Allah says in the Holy Quran, There are rights of the husband upon the wife just as there are rights of the wife upon the husband, with kindness.

The Holy Prophet (Sallahu Aliahi Wasalam) said, the best amongst you are those who are kind towards their wives. (Mishkaat Shareef Vol 2 Page 280)

It is also in the Hadith: No believing man should harbor any hatred and ill feeling for any believing women, for if any of hers actions seem bad, then there are also those things in her which are good. (Mishkaat Vol 2 page 280)

This Hadith means, that if a wife has some shortcomings in her, then it does mean that everything about her is not good. She definitely has some good qualities as well.

The husband should thus praise her good qualities and try to rectify her shortcomings.

1. It is an obligation upon every husband, to provide for her food, clothes, house and all other provisions. One must always think that she is a servant of Allah in my Nikah, and she has left her parents and everything else for me. She should thus be properly taken care of.

2. It is also necessary for the husband to fulfill his right as the husband towards his wife, in the sense of satisfying her womanly desires, so that she does not turn towards sin and adultery. This, thus means that the husband should not stay away from his wife for lengthy periods of time.

3. A man should not separate his bed from his wife without reason. Yes, if she acts contrary to his command or against the Islamic law, then he may do so. This however, should not be to cause her pain and torment, but to allow her to realise her wrong doing.

4.It is in the books of Law, that a husband may warn his wife (punish her) by separating his bed etc. if:

(a). She refuses to dress neatly and beautify herself for him

(b). Her husband desires her and she refuses without valid

(c). She does not take Ghusl after intimacy or after her menstrual periods etc.

(d). She leaves Namaaz or any other fardh Ibaadat without valid reason.

5. A man should never look at another woman with bad intention and should never praise the beauty of other women to his wife, and no wife should praise the beauty of another man to her husband.

6. The husband must correct the mistakes of his wife and if she does not accept, then he may be strict.

7. When going on a journey, the husband should inform his wife, and meet her with great love and comfort her before he leaves on a journey.

8. When the wife cooks him a meal, he should not criticize what she has made, but should eat it to please her. If there is something that he does not like he should tell her with great love and not mock or hurt her feelings.

9. If she becomes ill, then it is necessary for him to care and comfort her, so that she feels that he loves and cares for her.

10. He should have full faith and trust in his wife and she should have the same faith and trust in him. Both should not put false accusations on one another, as this leads to the breakup of the marriage and is a sinful act. The husband should also always be clean and dress well when with his wife. He should not embarrass her or shout and threaten her in the presence of others.

11. The husband should not shout at and scold his wife for petty issues and neither should the wife pick on him over petty issues.

12. If there is any dispute between the husband and the wife, they should try to resolve this by themselves with understanding, and if it is not resolved, then it should be put before the elders for advice. A man should never be hasty in giving Talaaq to his wife. He should let his anger subside before he makes any irrational decisions and then think with a calm mind. The Prophet (sallal laahu alaihi wasallam) said, amongst those things which are Halaal, the one most disliked by Allah is Talaaq. (Abu Dawood Vol 1 page 303)

13. If a person has more than one wife (not more than four), then he must be just with all of them and care for them equally. To take care of one and neglect the others is a sin. 

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THE RIGHTS & DUTIES OF THE WIFE TOWARDS HER HUSBAND

Once a girl becomes an adult, it is necessary for the parents to arrange for her marriage. When arranging for her marriage, be sure to choose a husband for her, who is a Sunni Sahihul Aqida and not and non-mazhab. Find someone who is a religious person, and one who is pious. Remember that Nikah is the Sunnah of the Prophet and a means of gaining piety and being protected from evil.

Almighty Allah has made man the Guardian over the wife. It is for this reason, that it is compulsory upon the wife to be obedient to her husband. Remember, that to please the husband is a great Ibaadat, and to disrespect him and be disobedient to him is a sin. The status of the husband is very exalted.

The Holy Prophet (Sallahu Aliahi Wasalam) said, If I had to command sajdah (prostration) for anyone but Allah, then I would have commanded the women to make sajdah to their husbands. (Mishkaat Shareef Vol.2 Pg.281)

The Holy Prophet (Sallahu Aliahi Wasalam) also said, That woman who passes away from this world in this way, that her husband was pleased with her, then she will enter into Jannat.

1. The wife should not leave the home to go anywhere without the permission of her husband.

 2. In the absence of the husband, the wife should not give any belongings of her husband to any person. In his absence, it is an obligation upon her to protect all his belongings, and without his permission, she should not allow any person into the home.

3. A women should never do any such action that will cause the husband to become upset.

4. To care and educate the children in the absence of the husband is also a great duty for her.

5. It is necessary for her to keep herself pure and clean at all times, always dressing neatly and looking presentable, so that her husband may be pleased when he looks at her.

6. It is necessary for every wife to understand the manner and habits of her husband, in other words, to know his likes and dislikes and not to act contrary to these.

7. It is from her duties not to become angry when he says anything to her and not to argue or backtalk with him. Rather she should comfort and calm him if he is upset.

8. She should not be demanding and should try her best to live in accordance with his income and not beyond his means. She should not be wasteful with his wealth.

9. As long as her in laws are alive, it is necessary for her to respect them. Never disappoint your husband’s parents.

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Number of Wives Permissible to Marry in Islam?

Allah Ta’ala states:

“And if you fear that you will not be just towards orphan girls, marry the women whom you like - two at a time, or three or four; then if you fear that you cannot keep two women equally then marry only one or the bond women you own; this is closer to your not doing injustice.” (Surah Nisaa Verse 3)

Critics of Islam, especially the western world and even some Muslims, who only consider those things acceptable and good which their minds and intellect can understand, continuously condemn the issue of the number of wives allowed in Islam. In light of this it is very beneficial and appropriate to briefly shed some light and present the reality on this issue.

1. This is not an order which is essential for every Muslim to act upon. It is merely permission that is granted.

2. This permission is not merely granted without conditions. Rather, very strict conditions have been placed on the person who wishes to act upon this permission.

3. All medical personnel (old and new) agree that the nature of men differs from the nature of women.

4. Sexual desire in men is much higher than in women. The obvious reason for this is that after sexual intercourse a woman has to go through many delicate stages – becoming pregnant, delivering the child, breast-feeding and caring for the child. All these stages keep her so busy that her sexual appetite is diminished but men do not have all these responsibilities.

5. More female than males are born in most countries. Additionally hundreds and thousands of men are killed
in wars and battles and therefore the population of women compared to men increases.

6. From the beginning of time, all those places that place a limit on the number of wives to one, are in essence giving permission to commit adultery. Even though this abominable act creates countless evils it is not considered a crime.

7. Is it more tolerable for a wife to accept another wife for her husband or a mistress? Consider the mental, spiritual, monetary and physical aspects of this.

8. Is it right for any self-respecting and honourable woman to be the owner of a home and have a husband who is responsible for her well-being and safety and that her children are considered legitimate and she is considered respectful in society? Or should she display her beauty to all who will look but no one is willing to neither be the father of her children nor take on any other responsibilities?

9. In spite of all their scientific successes, are Europe and America not alarmed at the increasing number of
illegitimate children being born and unwed mothers? (According to a U.N. report, in some European countries, the number of illegitimate children born is as high as 70% of all births). They have publically started stating that there is no way out of this predicament without following the laws of the Qur’an. (Zia-ul-Qur’an Vol 1 Pages 317-318)

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Which Women Are Permissible to Marry in Islam?

Allah Ta’ala states:

This verse means that other than the women mentioned in verse 23 of Surah Nisaa, all other women are lawful and it is permissible to marry them.

Allah Ta’ala also states in the following verse:



“And whoever among you does not have in marriage free, believing women due to poverty, should marry from the believing bondwomen you own...” (Surah Nisaa Verse 25)

This verse means that those of you who do not have the means or finances to marry a free Muslim woman should marry a Muslim slave woman and this is not a matter of shame.

Point: It is permissible for the person who has the means to marry a free woman to also marry a slave girl. This point is not made in this verse but is proven from the previous verse.

Point: It is also permissible to marry a slave girl from the people of the Book but it is better and preferred to marry a believer as is mentioned in the following verse:

 

“...and likewise are the virtuous Muslim women and the virtuous women from the people who received the Book(s) before you when you give them their bridal money - marrying them, not committing adultery nor as mistresses; and whoever turns a disbeliever after being a Muslim, all his deeds are wasted and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.” (Surah Maidah Verse 5)

In relation to the above verse, Zia-ul-Ummah Hazrat Allama Peer Karam Shah Azhari writes, ‘According to some Scholars it is only allowed to marry those women of the book who are citizens of a Muslim country. It is not permissible to marry women of the book who are citizens of ‘Darul Harb’ (non-Islamic state). 

According to Scholars of Hanafi Jurisprudence, it is not unlawful (Haram) but is certainly disliked (Makrooh). However, some Scholars have given permission to marry all women of the book regardless of which country they are citizens of. It should be noted that where the Qur’an here states it is lawful, this does not mean that merely being a Jew or Christian makes them lawful (for marriage). Rather, if marriage to them will cause more evil or corruption then this lawfulness is now negated.’ (Tafseer Zia-ul-Qur’an Vol 1 Page 443)

Huzoor Sadrush Shariah, Allama Mufti Amjad Ali writes, ‘It is possible that a Muslim man can marry Christian or Jewish women but it should not be done as this opens the doors to many evils. (A’alamgiri etc) This permissibility (of marrying them) is only if they are firm on their Christian or Jewish faith. If they are merely ‘Jewish’ or ‘Christian’ by name and in reality are atheist as is very common nowadays then it is not
permissible to marry them nor is their slaughtered meat lawful which nowadays is not slaughtered correctly either. (Bahar-e-Shariat Vol 7 Page 17)

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Which Women Are Not Permissible to Marry?

The Almighty Lord of all the worlds states:

“And do not marry the women who were wedded to your fathers (and grand fathers), except what has already passed; that is indeed an act of shame and great wrong; and an evil way. (Surah Nisaa Verse 22)

In the following verse Allah Azzawajalla states:

“Forbidden for you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your father’s sisters, and your mother’s sisters, and your brothers’ daughters and your sisters’daughters, and your foster-mothers (who breastfed you), and their daughters (your foster-sisters), and your wives’ mothers (mothers-in-law), and your wives’ daughters who are under your protection - born of the women with whom you have cohabited; and if you have not cohabited with them, then it is no sin for you to marry their daughters; and (forbidden are) the wives of your own sons (and foster sons and grandsons) and the keeping of two sisters together in marriage, except what has already passed; indeed Allah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful. And all married women are forbidden for you except the wives of disbelievers who come into your possession as bondwomen; this is Allah’s decree for you; and other than these, all women are lawful for you so that you seek them in exchange of your wealth in proper wedlock, not adultery; therefore give the women you wish to marry, their appointed bridal money; and after the appointment (of bridal money) there is no sin on you if you come to a mutual agreement; indeed Allah is All Knowing, Wise.” (Surah Nisaa Verse 23-24)

At another point Allah Azzawajalla states:

“And do not marry polytheist women until they become Muslims; for undoubtedly a Muslim bondwoman is better than a polytheist woman, although you may like her; and do not give your women in marriage to polytheist men until they accept faith; for undoubtedly a Muslim slave is better than a polytheist, although you may like him; they invite you towards the fire; and Allah invites towards Paradise and forgiveness by His command; and explains His verses to mankind so that they may accept guidance.” (Surah Baqarah Verse 221)

There are certain women whom it is unlawful to marry and there are certain reasons why it is not allowed to marry them.

There are below types of women it is not allowed to marry for various reasons.

First Type: Those women who are unlawful due to a close relationship with them and there are seven categories – Mother, daughter, sister, paternal aunt, maternal aunt, paternal niece (brother’s daughter), maternal niece (sister’s
daughter). 

Mother means the woman whose child you are either directly or indirectly. As well as the birth mother, this category also includes grandmothers (maternal and paternal) and great grandmothers etc. Regardless of how many generations up you go they are all unlawful to marry as they are either your own mother or the mother of your parents, grandparents etc.

Daughter means those women who are his offspring meaning daughter, grand-daughter, great grand-daughter (paternal
and maternal) regardless of how many generations removed she is as she is considered a daughter.

Second Type: The second group of women whom it is not allowed to marry are those women who are related by marriage meaning your wife’s daughters, mother and grandmothers. Also the wives and daughters of your fatherin-law and grandfathers-in-law etc.

Third Type: Those women who have a blood relationship with each other which makes it unlawful for a man to be married to them both at the same time. For example, if a man marries a woman, her sister is now considered to be his sister and therefore he cannot marry her at the same time. Similarly he cannot marry his wife’s aunt (maternal or paternal) as they are his wife’s aunts and his relationship with them is now considered to be that of aunt and nephew. Therefore, they cannot be wives at the same time and even if he was to divorce his wife, he cannot marry the relations of his ex-wife mentioned above until she has completed her ‘Iddat’ (probationary period). (Hidaya etc)

Fourth Type: Those women who are in your possession by way of slavery like slave-girls regardless of whether she is
solely in your possession or jointly owned by someone else. However, latter day Scholars state that Nikah should be
performed with them to be on the safe side but this does not mean the usual Nikah with Mehr and divorce allowances. (Hidaya, Bahaar)

Fifth Type: Those women with whom Nikah is forbidden as a result of polytheism (shirk).

Sixth Type: Those women who are unlawful as their marriage to someone else have not yet been terminated.

Seventh Type: Those women who are unlawful as their marriage to someone else have not yet been terminated.

Eighth Type: Those women who are unlawful as a result of already having the maximum number of wives.

Ninth Type: Those women who are unlawful as a result of the relationship of suckling (drinking their milk). (Qanoon-e-
Shariat)

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